Darren Richardson

April 9, 2011

Hungry for an egg and cheese omelet with onions but can’t seem to scrape up enough cash for cheese? No problem – just use cheese puffs and make “chee-eggos.”

“This is going to be huge, this cheese puffs and eggs thing,” said longtime foodie Sammy Womack Boney, a one-time salami salesman turned vegan. “The thought of never being able to eat cheese puffs with scrambled eggs has me re-evaluating the meaning of my life.”

Boney is far from aloney as Punditty’s latest culinary creation sweeps North America.

The reviews are coming in from all over, and “rave” just doesn’t quite describe the enthusiasm sweeping the eating industry.

“Jack Spratt could eat no fat, but he wouldn’t be able to resist chee-eggos. Experiencing how these once-crunchy cheese-things soften into a kind of cardboard-like paste that somehow manages to retain flavor is, without question, the highlight of my dining career.” – Nip Salazina, Eat Me magazine, Buffalo, New York.

“Chee-egos are like Reese’s Cups,

Like Coach Wooden meeting Leo Durocher.

This epicurean clash creates food anew,

with a result nothing short of ambrosia.”

– Bertha Creema, Delightful Bites Both Day and Night: A Journal of Poetry about Food, East St. Louis, Illinois

“Man, that’s eatin’!” – Deepak Ledbetter, overheard at a bar in Jackson, Mississippi

“To say that chee-eggos will be the next McMuffin is not an exaggeration. It is as certain as the Mayan prophecies of 2012 and the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series for 11 consecutive years beginning in 2013. Punditty’s cheesy innovation is the edible definition of a ‘sure thing.’ When chee-eggos go public, buy. Then buy some more.” – Chilla Heath, former adviser to Coolie Woker, Nutritionist to the Obese and Impoverished, failed stockbroker.

“At first I thought chee-eggos were kind of, like, icky, ya know? But they seemed to improve my boyfriend’s “appetite” after he ate them, if you know what I mean. Now I’m a cheerleader for chee-eggos, so long as there’s some left for my man.” – Sally Babs Hattley, blogger, foodcombinationsthatmakesexevenbetter.com, Sparks, Nevada.

“If you leave out the onions, can I get extra cheese puffs for free?” – millions of customers at fine restaurants everywhere, beginning today.

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