Darren Richardson

Mitt Romney may not have won the election, but he will be going to the White House anyway. President Obama has invited his vanquished rival for a private lunch Thursday.

Making good on a statement he made in his Election Night victory speech, when he alluded to “sitting down” with Romney to discuss “moving the country forward,” the president and the former GOP nominee will be meeting for the first time since the Oct. 22 presidential debate in Boca Raton, Fla.

In a Nov. 14 press conference, Obama said he thought having discussion with Romney could be helpful for the country.

“There may be ideas that he has with respect to jobs and growth that can help middle-class families that I want to hear,” Obama said. “I’m not either prejudging what he’s interested in doing, nor am I suggesting I’ve got some specific assignment.”

Romney has been keeping a relatively low profile since the election, although he did enrage millions of Americans, many within his own party, when he told donors via a conference call on Nov. 14 that the reason he lost the election is because Obama “gave stuff” to low-income voters. He also posted a Thanksgiving Day photo showing him slightly disheveled as he appeared to hug (choke?) his wife, Ann. Other than that, he’s been off the public radar.


First, some advice for Obama: Do not get your luncheon with Romney confused with the beer summit of 2009. Romney doesn’t drink, and there’s no need to tempt him. He will not—repeat, will not—want any of the White House’s microbrewed beer, either. Good old-fashioned American tap water ought to do the trick.

Since there won’t be booze involved, the president needs a way to liven things up a bit. It might be kind of funny to give Romney an “Obamaphone” just for kicks. The president can tell the governor that even though he doesn’t think Romney voted for him, he still thinks he should get something anyway.

“Mitt, I’m the president for all Americans, not just those who voted for me. So I want you to have this Obamaphone. You can use it to call a doctor when I force you to drop the insurance you have now and go onto Obamacare. Heh-heh, just kidding.”

As for Romney, he should not arrive empty-handed. The failed GOP nominee needs to bring the president a gift. Here’s an idea: a Chicago Bears football helmet, in case the president leads the nation off the “fiscal cliff.” Or if that seems too obtuse, maybe this wacky, “Godfather”-themed anti-Obamacare T-shirt will get a smile out of the president. Too contentious? Then how about this life-sized Big Bird doll? Romney would surely get a laugh out of the president if he said Big Bird needed a seat at the table, too.

Then again, Romney is not the type of person to waste money on a gift when he doesn’t absolutely have to buy one, so maybe he should keep in simple and just give the president a piece of his mind.




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