Delilah Jean Williams

On Friday, in a stranger-than-fiction wave of self-righteous indignation and lofty outrage, the GOP’s former favorite mercenary of lies struck out at President Obama for the closure of Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and other chemically filled franken-goodies.

Limbaugh ranted that Obama should have stepped in to save the day, like he did in New York, and implied he could have rescued Twinkies by telling the unions to order the workers off the picket lines and back to work.

The problem with that scenario was that workers had already been raked over by the management of Hostess in its first bankruptcy bid in 2004. They didn’t want to take more pay and pension cuts. It was their choice not to give in again.

If Obama had stepped in to do anything, as if he didn’t have more important things to do, Limbaugh and his Obama-bashing cronies would have screamed bloody murder and accused him of interfering with free enterprise.

The Limbaugh transcript went, in part:

“Unions are the Democrat Party. Trumka is at the White House again today. Won’t even compromise to save 18,500 jobs. Are you kidding me? Obama couldn’t step in here even for the optics of it? I mean, yesterday he saved New York. Today he could save Ding Dongs. He could save Twinkies, except at the White House Michelle’s probably celebrating, ’cause this is just rotten, no good food to her. But, see, I think they wanted this, folks. I think they wanted Hostess bye-bye. And you know why? They wanted this to happen because this is just going to create more dependents on unions and the government. It’s just gonna create more dependents. So this is all fine with Barry.”

What’s that, Rush? You think the president and Mrs. Obama were just sitting around waiting for Hostess management to give themselves huge raises and bonuses (Bain Capital-style) and then close down the plant, putting thousands of employees out of work—all so Michelle could say it was rotten food and the president could create more unions and bigger government?

Seriously? Any chance Rush had an Oxycontin relapse? Is he that desperate to remain relevant with a Republican Party that is running away from him like their hair is on fire? If so, why does he think raising the bar on a new level of crazy every day will work?

Rush’s sanctimonious diatribe went on:

“I simply can’t believe it. The Socialist takeover of our nation is now taking away an American icon, Hostess. No longer will we enjoy Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and Wonder Bread with our loved ones, but rather we will be forced to chew on carrots and celery like animals! I truly blame the First Lady and her socialist push for healthy food. This is all Michelle Obama’s fault, I feel as though a part of me is dying. We can’t let this happen! Not in America! We need our food made of chemicals and pretend sugar filled with preservatives. I don’t like knowing what I’m eating. Carrots?! Apples?! Strawberries?! How boring does this White House want us to be?! We’re not Americans unless we’re eating things that are bad for us. It’s what makes us great! I’m so upset right now I think I need go to a commercial. We’ll be right back.”

Whereupon Rush went into the back room and shoved six Twinkies into his mouth and filled his pockets with Ding Dongs.

No hurry on eating those Ding Dongs, Rush, since they have a shelf life of six years.

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