I promise I'm not clowning you on this one -- details are emerging on the recent robbery of Apple founder Steve Jobs' home, and it turns out Jobs' personal iPad ended up in the hands of a real clown. That is, an actual red-nosed, face-painted, rainbow wig-wearing clown who clowns professionally for children's parties and corporate events.
"Think Different", indeed.
The San Jose Mercury News reports that Santa Clara County, California detectives discovered Steve Jobs' stolen iPad was given away for free to a clown. Not just any old clown, but Kenny the Clown, a San Francisco Bay Area clown-for-hire and self-described "Rocky Balboa of the clown world". The iPad was one of the items stolen in the burglary of the late Steve Jobs' home first reported earlier this week.
It should be noted that Kenny the Clown is entirely innocent in this matter. He was unwittingly given stolen merchandise, and police do not consider him a suspect.
Kenny the Clown is not some Wavy Gravy kind of creepy old hippie clown. Kenny the Clown is an actual professional clown with very impressive technical clown skills. He can juggle bowling pins, ride a unicycle, and sometimes juggles bowling pins while riding a unicycle. He can even juggle fire while riding a unicycle. If there were a Ph. D. in clowning, Kenny the Clown would surely have one.
His real name is Kenneth Kahn, and he happens to be a personal friend of the burglar who robbed Steve Job's Palo Alto house. Police visited the clown's home to reclaim the hot merchandise, and boy was his nose red. He had no idea he'd been given stolen merchandise.
The alleged burglar, Kariem McFarlin, also gave one of Jobs' personal, top of the line 64 GB iPads to his daughter. McFarlin is accused of taking iPods, iPads, laptop computers, jewelry, and a wallet from Jobs' home. Yes, the burglar did not realize he'd robbed Steve Jobs -- even though he had Jobs' wallet and ID.
"Before the public sees (McFarlin) as this horrible monster, I'd like to hopefully think we can somehow get across that he just made the worst mistake of his life," Kenny the Clown told the Mercury News.
Kenny the Clown didn't realize he had Steve Jobs' iPad, and was unknowingly sitting on a trove of premium apps and top secret corporate Apple documents (Steve Jobs' personal iPad was not even password protected!). The clown used the iPad for one thing only -- to play musical accompaniment to part of his clown act. He used iTunes to play just one song -- Henry Mancini's "Pink Panther" theme.
"If this thing weren't so tragic, it would be comical," the clown told the Mercury News.
Oh, but is comical, Kenny the Clown. It really, really is.